This isn't a Subtweet, not really...

Nymeria of Rhoyne

We are under a day short of being halfway through the year and this scares me. Seriously, where have these six months gone? Oh yes, I've spent them either procrastinating or "studying" (see staring at my textbook with a blank expression, thinking of Nymeria of Rhoyne).

On the plus side I am currently on a four week holiday, during which I intend to increase my reading time, sleeping time and cooking time. The last one is because I love food and I'm tired of relying on my mom to make my favourite dishes for me - not because I'm trying to impress a boy or his mother for marriage purposes. Yeah boys, WE LIKE SANDWICHES TOO.

I tried my best to minimize my social media usage for the last few months now and control my addiction. Quite frankly, it sucked. Cold turkey methods do NOT work. Don't try this at home, kids; the withdrawal symptoms just worsen your condition. 

During the time I spent trying to avoid Twitter, I pondered on why we publish our thoughts on a public platform such as Twitter or a blog. Is it purely to express our creativity or a need to stroke our egos with affirmation from others? Why is a tweet only as good as the number of retweets it gets, or an account as prominent as the number of followers it has? Is what we think not good enough for ourselves that we have to seek affirmation? 

There's a week and a day left till my twenty-first birthday and I'm quite happy to be celebrating this milestone during the month of Ramadhaan. Speaking of Ramadhaan and my Twitter addiction; over the last two and a half years (i.e.: the time when people began to believe my rants about Twitter being amazing), I have noticed two 'types' of Muslims on Twitter. These types tend to come out during this month in particular; the cynical types that hate on Ramadhaan Muslims and the self-righteous types that hate on those who aren't Ramadhaan Muslims. 

In respect of the cynics who won't stop subtweeting that Muslim girl with a hijab avatar during Ramadhaan; I cannot deal with their judgement. This judgement of people who are, in their own way, trying to make a positive change in their lives; even it is for a short period. At least they're trying. Also, Ramadhaan is a wonderful opportunity to start making positive changes in your life. Perhaps they see it this way too.

(OH, and while we are on the topic of cynics on Twitter... (Warning: Blunt rant ahead. You might want to stop reading).

It appears there is this belief that cynicism gains popularity. Perhaps it does, given the number of retweets cynical tweets receive. But then again, maybe it's just an appreciation of dark humour. There is, however, no need to be cynical to the point of dissing people who post inspirational tweets.

Constant cynicism doesn't allow you to enjoy anything life has to offer and essentially desensitizes you in respect of other people because one is so caught up in their own life. Apart from ignorance, insensitivity is also a sign of bitterness; one can't be happy with what one has, so one is cynical about everyone else to create this false sense of superiority to mask the fact that one is unable to accept something about one's own life.

If one cant see the sunlight streaming through the clouds, it's one's personal business. But one should not eclipse someone else's rainbow because one chooses to be swallowed by their own storm.

Also, has anyone else noticed the people-hate on Twitter? I don't understand; if you can't stand people so much, why are you on Twitter?  Because you enjoy the false identities that some people create? If that's the case, you'd be better off with a book. I get that the internet allows you to come out of your shell and give you the confidence that you might not have in person; but good God, do you have to be mean? No wonder no one wants to be your friend in person, because all you do is complain about everything.

Okay, wow. That was mean and it's Ramadhaan. I'm sorry.)

Moving on.

The other 'type'of Muslim are the self-righteous who think they're better than the man without a beard or a woman without a scarf. Ladies and gentlemen, this is counter judgment to 'type one' Muslim and it doesn't make you any better than they are.Self-righteousness stems from pride, and, in case you've forgotten your Tahzeeb lessons from Primary School Madressah, "A man with an atom of pride shall not enter Jannah.". Everyone is on their own spiritual journey, so shift your focus to self-improvement.

It is impossible to avoid these types of people, be it in Ramadhaan or any other time of the year. Clearly it is difficult to please anyone, so worry about your own contentment and that of your Creator. 

I wish you a Blessed Ramadhaan :) May the all positive changes you make this month become permanent changes thereafter.

Like a Virgin - Voting for the very first time

What I dislike most about test week is the fact that the stress it brings eclipses other aspects of my week, like the fact that I was voting for the very first time on May 7th. So I missed all the hype leading up to this Wednesday.

As a virgin-voter in 2014, I was incredibly conflicted about which party to vote for. My knowledge on political parties is limited to whatever is broadcast on Morning Live, A View from the House and the seven 'o clock news. I know as much as the mede-mens does.

I respect a lot of what the ANC has stood for and yes, they have had a good story to tell, but not under Jacob Zuma's management. I didn't want to vote for the man, who spends over R200 million of taxpayers' money on his private residence, to the the face of South Africa.

The DA, on the other hand, just complain about what the ANC, without offering real solutions. And clearly there is mismanagement and corruption on their part as well, considering most of Khayelitsha's residence support the ANC in a DA-dominated Western Cape. That, coupled with their support for Israel's Apartheid State, earns a 'no' for the opposition party from me. 

But, then again, voting for one of the smaller parties isn't very strategic when it comes to seats in Parliament.

I only made up my mind about my vote when I'd realized I'd been standing at the booth for over five minutes with a queue of people behind me.

To be honest my interest in this election was less on the fact that I was voting for the first time, and more on the outcome. The introduction of the EFF and Agang, and the recent public outbursts on their dislike of Zuma made for an exciting election; however, I didn't think we were going to be at a stage where the ANC and any opposition (most likely the DA) would be neck-and-neck. Twenty years seems like a long time, but when put into perspective it hasn't been that long since Apartheid ended. The generation before the born-frees will remain loyal to the ANC for their instrumental role in the Struggle. Perhaps in another two elections' time.

I voted at the local Civic Centre and it went pretty quickly; it took me about ten minutes for everything (minus the five minutes I spent at the booth) to get done and the IEC staff were friendly. There was a chilled vibe with families having picnics outside the centre. I was hoping to have a bit of a queue-vibe, but I was writing Auditing the next day so rushing back home to learn the payroll cycle was more of a priority.

It was only a few years ago that I was wondering about who I'd vote for when I was of age, so I guess the one thing this election has made me realize is that I'm getting old.

In the future, these will be the 'Good Ol' Days'

My last six weeks have been me trying to dig my way to surface after being buried by seventeen textbooks. It's been hellish, yet I'm actually enjoying my third year of university. I guess the content of our modules have become more centered around our majors; it feels like I'm finally studying with purpose.

I have, however, begun to hate the mundane feeling of routine. My life is basically: Pray, Eat, Campus, Study, Sleep. There seems to be no time for creative outlets like playing guitar, writing or even reading at leisure. 

2014 is the year of the 21sts - this is supposed to be the prime point of our lives, the times we'll tell our kids about, the "good ol' days" if you will. But right now, I feel like the only story I'll be able to tell my kids is that of early morning studying and Twitter-induced procrastination. And that is hardly the way I want to remember my 21st year.

Initially I thought it may have something to do with the fact that I'm studying in my hometown, staying under my mother's roof, living by her rules and not being allowed to drive her car. But living with my mom isn't like living in a jail - even though I'm the guinea pig in the house, she doesn't restrict me. The lack of a car is a huge bummer, but I have friends with cars and (legitly obtained) licenses. And, by the way, you don't have to live away from home to learn independence; yes, you can learn to look after yourself even if you stay at home. 

I then put it down to my degree itself - it is considered by most people to be boring. But I actually enjoy it, mostly because I find it a challenge and there's that sense of satisfaction that comes with knowing that you understand something you didn't easily understand before.

If I look back to my initial statement, however, I know what the answer is. I have an affinity for social media, particularly Twitter. The reason my workload is seemingly long is because I spend about three of the five hours of my tutorial time daydreaming and scrolling through Twitter. Or Facebook. Or MySpace (really, it's that bad). I pass my weekends like that and then wonder why I don't have time to do anything else.

The reason our parents and grandparents have interesting stories to tell us is because they spent their prime time living their lives instead of hiding behind technology. They have 'awww'-worthy tales about how they met their significant other, instead of the stalking tally that occurred before they befriended each other on Facebook . They have shenanigans to tell us about because they got out of the house instead of watching series all weekend.

I've contemplated deactivating Twitter - but cold-turkey tactics will drive me mad. Plus Twitter has a lot of perks and it's home to witty people. So I have decided to make a list of things I need to do everyday before I decide to visit Twitter or any other social network; not just because I like making lists, but because the reward system always works.

Well, let's hope it doesn't prove otherwise. Maybe then I'll have real stories to tell my grandchildren. And you.

"Oh, we'll remember this night when we're old and grey, coz in the future, these will be the 'Good ol' Days'." ~ The Script.

Emdloti Appreciation Post

About a week ago, I spent the weekend with my best friend at a chalet on the shore of Emdloti  beach.

Okay, it was the shore, the road and THEN the chalet. Still though, this place is probably one of the most underrated places. The beach is several shades of blue, super clean and quiet. There's a centre a walk away from the chalets with a coffee shop overlooking the beach.

The best part about the chalet's position was the constant sound of crashing waves and the view of the beach. Watching the sun rise after Fajr was a must, even if we stayed up till 2 am watching Bollywood movies.

The one thing I'd missed, though, were the dolphins swimming past where we were staying. Pretty bummed about that. But I guess it gives me a reason to holiday there again.

"... teach your sons how to behave."

This is an issue which is pretty close to my heart. Rape is an problem that haunts women across the globe. It is an act of gender violence, a crime, violation and quite frankly, not enough is being done to stop it. 

Last week a Bengali woman, by the order of her village council, was gang raped  for falling in love with a man from outside her village and not being able to pay the fine for doing so. This, after a series of violent sex crimes against women plagued India. 

South Africa's record isn't any better. Two weeks ago, a 9 year old girl was raped and then set alight. She was found alive by members of her community and was able to identify the man who later appeared in court. The community was outraged, and rightly so. With a justice system that is clearly failing the safety of South African women, do you blame communities for wanting to engage in mob justice?

I think one of the things that annoys me is the reaction towards rape. It's similar with most cases: A woman is raped, there's a huge uproar and then it fizzles out. No one thinks about the post-traumatic stress that she or her family has to endure. It happens all the time. Clearly angry outbursts are not causing any change, because the rape statistics are getting worse. A woman is more likely to be raped than learn to read in South Africa.

Another thing that bothers me is the justice system and how so many rapists get away with their actions because there is not enough proof. Then, as in the case of the 16 year old Indian girl, they further harass and even murder their victim. It is because of such things that women are less likely to report rape.

Last year, I'd written an essay about rape, summing up a few ideas that leaders in our country can implement in order to overcome and prevent rape in the future. It was written for a "Future Leaders" type of competition, so please excuse the register:

“Don’t keep your daughters indoors; teach your sons how to behave”

According to current statistics, South Africa is currently ranked second in the world as the country with the highest number of rapes and is soon to take over the number one spot from the United States of America. Statistics also show that a woman is more likely to be raped than educated in South Africa. Women play an essential role in the economic and social growth in this country and such circumstances is poison to our future growth and gender equality. This disease can only be prevented if we get to the core of the issue. Increasing physical measures can only assist to a certain degree in reducing the number of rapes, but that kind of security does not cover rapes that occur inside homes, committed by once trusted people. The core of the issue lies in the attitude of humanity towards such behaviour.

It is often a misconception that rape is driven only by certain basic desires of a human being; however, the act of rape is stemmed from a psychological need for power. Rapists exercise their power over the victim by going against their will. This is precisely the attitude that needs to change. More often than not, the perpetrator has experienced a certain lack of power in another aspect of their life – be it in the work or domestic environment. At times incidences from ones childhood, abuse being a key example, may only affect a person later on in life. All these are linked to the psyche, and the clear, yet often undermined solution, lies here. Social workers and counsellors are the most underrated and undermined professionals in this country, generally earning less than teachers. Their training lies in assisting a person to come to terms with their situations or past situations. Once a person has come to terms with their experiences in a logical but understanding manner, they are able to move on from it and not allow such negativity to affect their futures. Hence, it is clear that counselling and social work is an effective antidote to the psychological poison created in the minds of people. What we, as future leaders, can do is to ensure that the money we intend for Corporate Social Welfare is injected into the right projects. Rural schools cannot afford a school counsellor and there are children who are in need of counselling. By paying the salary of a social worker of a rural school, we take a step in preventing the future of this country from being consumed by negative psychological desires.

Another attitude that needs to change is the one of little understanding and a lack of compassion by citizens. Rape has become so rife in our country, that when we hear about new cases we rarely show the indignation or anger it needs. Sometimes we even turn our heads the other way. In extreme cases of gang-rape, the uproar against it last for a few hours, maybe a few days and then we all get back to our everyday schedules and the victim is left psychologically vulnerable and without hope and the initial uproar loses effect. We, as citizens, tend to act on the ‘that which doesn’t affect us, does not concern us’.  This is another attitude that needs to change. The only way to change this attitude is to come to the understanding that if we do not commit to fighting rape in this country, then its growth will be detrimental to our future generations. We underrate our power as citizens. Our government is chosen by us; hence we have the ability to put pressure on them in terms of our current legislation relating to rape. Punishment for rape is far too lenient, leading to the recent rapid increase of this crime in our country. By putting due pressure on politicians to intensify the punishment for rape, the lawmakers in our country will be obliged to change policies. 

Rape can lead to the spread of AIDS and unwanted pregnancies, not to mention the psychological trauma experienced by victims. These issues all need to be addressed in a compassionate manner to show support to rape victims and to strengthen the fight. Education plays an essential role in creating awareness. Apart from the adverts and pamphlets, organisations that are committed to the fight should be assisted in going to areas where rape is rife and educate citizens on what to do in vulnerable situations, where to get tested for HIV and where to obtain the ‘morning after’ pill to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. Included in such education should be the numbers of local police stations, helpline numbers and local social work groups to assist victims when they have no support.  This is not meant to encourage rape in any way, but instead to ensure that citizens are so well-informed that they may be able to get out of a compromising situation or help someone they know.

One of the manners in which techno-savvy rapists work is that they use fake profiles and cyber-stalking to attract victims, gain their trust and, after securing a meeting with said victim, rape them. This problem can be easily resolved, again, through education. It is difficult to stay away from the internet in a technologically advanced era, but we all need to exercise maturity and caution. Children and teenagers are the most vulnerable in this regard; hence parents need to gain sufficient techno-knowledge to be able to exercise parental control. By preventing loved ones from meeting strangers they met on the internet, this will aid the reduction of rape-statistics in South Africa.

The attitude of men plays a significant part in the reduction of this poison. A prime example of this is an organisation in South Africa called Brothers for Life. The organisation is aimed at changing the attitude of men with regard to their treatment of women, the fight against AIDS and rape, in order to breed positivity and hope in our society. They do this through creating awareness, encouraging and providing means to get tested for AIDS, educating people on the dangers of gender violence and acknowledging those who have played an active role in their fight against societal poisons. Organisations with such or similar objectives can inevitably be successful in changing and shaping the attitudes towards rape in our country.

Many South African citizens have lost hope in our government, our fight against societal poisons (like rape) and our future as a whole. This is, inevitably, the attitude that needs to change and is achievable through education, correct professional care and assistance, compassion and caution. Positive thoughts breed positive actions. If we can show citizens that there are ways to fight rape, the fight against the poison becomes stronger. The quote,

                “Don’t keep your daughters indoors; teach your sons how to behave” (Unknown)

is quite relevant in summing up how to go about finding the antidote to the poison – the fight against rape will only be successful if we start by adopting the correct attitude.

Ed Sheeran Appreciation Post

Things I wish I Truly Understood before Varsity

I wonder at which point during varsity the excitement and energy with which we enter first year fades to bitterness. Our first university exam? The first time we obtain marks lower than what we're used to? When you're so swamped with work that the thought of dropping out and getting married dares to cross you mind?

Due to the release of the matric results this week, most Twitter timelines were buzzing with anticipation. The first thought that crossed my mind when I opened Twitter was "Chill guys, A's mean nothing at varsity. Honestly, I'd take the stress of wanting to obtain an A over the stress of wanting to proceed into your next academic year of study. Because university is ten times worse". I then thought back to the night before my own results were released two years ago and realized that the only time I'd experienced more stress than that was the day of my driving test.

I literally had 45 minutes of sleep in 48 the hours between the day before results were released and D-day. And all I could think about was "WHAT IF I DONT GET ALL As. WHAT IF I DONT GET ALL As. WHAT IF MY As ARENT GOOD As". I refused to let anyone tell me my results - I wanted to find out by counting the brackets next to my name in the paper. I kept my mother up that night, driving out to the garages every two hours and repeated my doubt-filled mantra. Though, of course, we all have that university friend who brings you back to reality and tells you your marks when you least expect it. Although I don't often admit it, I'm glad he told me and put my out of my self-inflicted misery. I then zombie'd my way through the rest of the day, feeling more relieved than excited.

So there - all university students have been through the excitement and stress of final matric exams and receiving results (and receiving calls from aunties you have no memory of). And we also experienced the same disregard by university students during our finals period. I remember swearing that I'd never become one of those students who forgot the stress of matric.

Unfortunately, Class of 2013, you will, at some point, find yourselves disregarding future matriculants. University is exciting and liberating, but it also makes you view schools and education in a different light. In all honesty, school does not prepare you for change. The uniformity of school teaches you nothing about varsity, losing relationships or life in general. You think it's easy to maintain friendships with your school friends, but the truth is that unless you make an effort to remain in contact with them, you will slowly drift apart, simply because varsity allows you to grow and develop new interests and make your friends. The subjects you did in high school don't really prepare you adequately for university modules. You have to really put in the effort to stand out academically, because you're simply a student number to a lecturer. There will be times when you'll walk out your lectures more confused than when you entered because your lecturer's foreign accent is difficult to understand. There will be times when you will question your choice of degree, university and post-matric path in general.

BUT there are also a lot of wonderful things about university. You meet different people and you're at liberty to try out different things. You will learn to develop and voice your opinion. You will grow and, yes, you will change. You will learn to let go of insecurities and other things that hinder your growth as a person. You WILL probably go though some sort of existential crisis and question life. Albeit being just a number in the system, you will develop as an individual. Your academic focus will solely be on your chosen career path - no more Physics for Accounting students!

For now, just bask in the excitement of your results. You worked for it, so it's yours to rightfully enjoy. Take this level of energy and confidence with you into first year - not as arrogance, but as self-esteem and a will to push yourself so you're able to cope with the academic changes. Do yourself a favour and find out the stats for each year of study for your chosen degree - it's the only way you can truly determine its level of difficulty. Enjoy this long holiday. No seriously, university students get long holidays because we need it after a hectic semester. Don't wish your holidays away because you're bored - find something to do!

Shout out to my Alma Mater, Westville Girls' High School, for the excellent results! *inserts 62540792 tweets about WGHS here*

Hobbitsess and Stair-Surfing

After recently watching The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug, I became little obsessed with J.R.R. Tolkien's world and decided that it was time for me to finally watch the Lord of the Rings. Yes, I know. It took me a decade to watch the movies. But to be honest, I'm happy I've only watched them now. I don't think I would have fully appreciated the depth of the story and its characters if I'd watched it when I was younger.

My favourite aspects were the Sam/Frodo bromance, the Legolas/Gimli bromance, Frodo's emotional, physical and mental journey, Eowyn's role, Legolas' stair-surfing, arrow-shooting badassery and Treebeard. The soundtrack is, by far, the BEST soundtrack I've listened to and I want it on my wedding playlist. The acting is fantastic and the trilogy definitely deserved every Oscar award, nomination and other accolades it received. If possible, I'd like to retire in Hobbiton. 

My favourite quotes/scenes from each of the movies:

The Fellowship of the Ring

Sam is about to take the furthest step he's ever taken from the Shire and Frodo tells Sam something Bilbo always told him:

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." 

The Two Towers

You couldn't not love Sam, especially after this scene towards the end of the movie:

Frodo: I can't do this, Sam. 

Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?

Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.

Return of the King

Of course this is going to be on my list of favourite scenes. It's one of the few scenes with female badassery.

Witch King: You fool. No man can kill me. Die now. 

[As he tries to strangle her, Merry stabs him in the leg. She is released and remoes her helmet]

Eowyn: I am no man.

***

I'm going to read the books. Obviously. Actually, I'm almost done with The Hobbit and during my next, reasonably long holiday I'll start with the trilogy. My best friend read it when we were in high school. She was apparently traumatized by its length and 'unnecessary' detail of scenery and refuses to watch the movies. From what I've gathered, though set in the same world as The Hobbit, it's not written in the same tone or light as its prequel. So the read should be interesting.

Just found out that J.R.R. Tolkien was born in Bloemfontein. Which is in my country. Which is Epiiiiiiiiiiic.

Oh, and also, Happy New Year!